An appreciation post for this lifestyle. Recently, my husband and I separated. While there were several deeply personal reasons, one of the core beliefs we could never agree on was parenting. My sons (now 10 and 8) have navigated this with an emotional understanding and openness that I never, ever had at their ages (when my own parents separated). Their comfort in asking questions that would've made 10-year-old me squirm. Their confidence in taking it one day at a time, as it comes, knowing we have the tools to manage life. Their emotional intellect, being able to truly express how they feel and why, and to do so without prompting – just sharing because they feel safe and know they can share, literally, anything. And their recognition of a truly peaceful home, oh my gosh. My heart soars, that they get to experience this peace amidst a major change. All this shared as an encouragement to those digging in and doing the work: it's worth it in a way we cannot even begin to imagine or understand when we're in the "thick" of parenting. To feel supported, understood, and loved by my sons, and to return that love, understanding, and support to them: it's a win beyond my wildest dreams. Stick with it. It's a life-changer.

I didn’t have a great framework for how I wanted to parent, except for treating my child like a whole person from birth. I started on a loopy winding trail through gentle parenting and Montessori and RIE, and while there were parts I liked from each- it wasn’t until I was introduced by a friend to the VC model that it all clicked. Robin has improved my parenting immensely, and my children are truly better for her work being available. It’s humbling and inspiring to read Robin’s words every day, I would truly be lost without her.

Visible Child has helped me to change my parenting into positive, relationship-focused parenting, and one of the best things has been helping me learn to pause and consider my response before reacting. This has helped me countless times, but I'll give a specific example. One the time when my kid got putty on the couch cushion. Rather than immediately reacting, yelling and shaming, I was able to pause, breathe, and approach it with an attitude that it was a problem we were going to solve together. After working on it for a while, my kid said, "When you scold me for something that was an accident, I get mad and I don't want to fix it. When you are understanding, I want to try to fix it." Without Visible Child, there wasn't a chance that my kid damaging the couch would have IMPROVED our connection and relationship!

The Visible Child community of support and resources for parents has not only changed my relationship with my children, but it has literally changed my life. It was through the Visible Child community that I learned about the skills needed to be the best parent I could be (patience, emotional regulation, connection with self and others, how to repair, etc.) and these skills, of course, improve my life well beyond the scope of parenting. These skills have improved my life in every aspect and continue to, the more I learn about myself. Thank you Visible Child, for being a North Star in my parenting journey, and in my life.

Being able to learn from Robin’s wealth of experience and her life’s work understanding the evidence base of child development has been a true gift. After finding Visible Child from a recommendation by our child’s nursery director I was both grateful and sad I had not found it sooner. This approach pushes you to be your very best so that you can be the best for your children. It is not quick fix but a true perspective shift on parenting and relationships in general. I can honestly say that all of the relationships in my life have benefitted from the visible child philosophy, not just the ones with my children, and the emphasis on understanding my child, myself and my lens has been truly life changing. Thank you Robin, from the bottom of my heart for the hard questions you ask. You have done so much for our family and I am truly grateful.

I’ve grown so much as a parent here in the Visible Child Facebook group. Every time I get to a place with my daughter where I’m feeling stuck, I’m ALWAYS given so much to take away and chew on. I just can’t say enough good things. I am growing to have a deeper understanding of myself and my daughter and it makes me a better parent. 10/10 I recommend Robin.

Visible child is a way of parenting that goes beyond just being a parent; it’s totally transformed the way I approach life and relationships.  It definitely strengthened my relationship with my son. I’m not a perfect parent, but now I’m a patient parent. I’m a parent that sees and hears his needs and does my best to accommodate them within reason; I look at the way he feels and reconsider boundaries and expectations and WHY they’re there. Visible child parenting has taught me the best way to stay kind and supportive while holding clear and honest expectations and boundaries. I feel like it helped me find the respectful boundary between holding expectations and being too permissive. I was so skeptical when I started reading about this parenting style, but as my lens changed, so did my experience as a mom. Thank you, Robin, for the work that you do, and for helping so many families. I cannot express how much the Visible Child lens has bettered my life and the dynamic of my family.

I am truly a better mom for my child since adopting the Visible Child approach in daily life. Our relationship improved so much with my son, and my understanding of his behaviour helps my reactions and responses to come from a calmer and more supportive place. A more harmonic dynamic is what we have now. I am grateful and just sad I didn't find Visible Child earlier.

If you're looking for the right words or "tips and tricks" you won't find them here (if the blog post titled "It Depends" was any indication). It takes time to get used to. But once you begin to shift your mindset, everything changes. It's a lot of internal work, but my day-to-day parenting has become so much easier and full of joy. I can't thank Robin and her team enough.

I wanted to parent from a place of respect, and what I learnt through Visible Child shifted my lens into a more compassionate lens toward myself,  a more empathic view toward my husband’s reactions, and a better aligned set of expectations regarding my daughters’ development. I started reading because I wanted to be a better mum, but the knowledge I was offered made me a better person in every aspect. I wanted to break the cycle, and I ended up mending several pieces of my soul. Once you discover what respect looks like, it is addictive. You look for it everywhere and you want everybody to try it.

I believe Robin Einzig to be one of the great thinkers of our time, in how she synthesizes and communicates an approach to children that centers their humanity, which so much of the dominant discourse (on every side) around education and parenting fully neglects. Put simply, she cuts through the crap and gets to the heart of things, and the result is elegant in its consistency and irreducibility. She is doing sacred work, work that could change the world, and it’s an honor to be a part of it, at the cellular level of my own relationship with my own two kids.

Learning from Robin was life changing for me. I learned to trust my child, own my own reactions, and build a relationship with my daughter that is based on delight in each other. I couldn't be more grateful.

The Visible Child mindset transformed my relationship with my two children, who were adopted from foster care. I was able to understand and take responsibility for my role in our challenges. I was able to move from focusing on control to focusing on solutions. I learned how to apologize to my kids, and as a result, they have learned to apologize too. It has created space for trust and honesty in our family!

Before I found the visible child approach, I considered myself a gentle parent and was happy with my parenting in general. My child continued to grow and I found myself struggling to parent due to my own childhood trauma and just general lack of understanding natural child’s development. Reading Visible child’s posts daily gave me so many resources on natural children’s development and taught me to go upstream and not to parent from fear. It gave me a lot of confidence and I cannot thank Robin and the team enough.

It's hard to over-state how much Visible Child changed my life as a parent for the better. When my first child turned out to be extremely sensitive, I was utterly lost in the woods. I didn't want to yell or shame or break his spirit. What, then? It's not easy to summarize what Visible Child teaches, because it's not an enumerated list of techniques or scripts or methods. Rather, it's a shift in mindset (and an education in child development) that leads you to see everything in a new light, where you aren't trying to "control" or "manage" your children but rather give them a safe space in which to grow and thrive with confidence and self-respect, without veering into permissiveness or helicopter parenting. It teaches you how to find a sweet spot — a deeply human spot — where you and your child can grow and enjoy each other with no need for yelling, punishment, or demanding obedience. Doesn't mean it's all rainbows and unicorns–parenting  remains a challenging endeavor. But it doesn't have to lead to resentment, burnout, countdowns, or time-outs. You can rely on your own emotional regulation even when they are melting down, offering them your calm. You can calmly hold limits such that kids feel safe in the freedom between the limits. You can respect and be curious about children, even at their most "illogical." And you can take a break when you need it without shame or fear of "traumatizing" your kids. I read a ton of parenting stuff before finding VC–I found that VC clicked better with what I know about human nature and what I remember about being a kid. I'm not evangelical about a lot of things, but VC changed my life in such a deep way. I wish millions of people could have access to this approach.

I mean the title in the literal sense. I was in such a bad place when my son was around 15 months old. I found VC through a fluke, someone on a Facebook group had asked for advice and someone else had linked Visible Child in response. The original post was similar to my own situation and so I clicked the link. And so followed the most eye opening 2 and half years. My partner and I had been discussing adding a second child to our family, but, although I wanted one, I knew that the way I was parenting was so wrong that I couldn’t agree to start trying. I followed VC every day for months, reading and learning and asking questions. I followed other pages that were highly regarded in VC circles and slowly, gradually, this (at times) alien way of parenting became more and more ingrained. More natural. And it wasn’t about my child after all, all the things that needed to change were in MY control. Finally, I started letting go of my fears, and the more I did that, the more mine and my son’s relationship improved and kept improving. And it’s still improving more and more every day. Now my parenting journey isn’t filled with stress and fear. Yes, there’s still some yelling, still some mistakes and still some days that go wrong. But the foundation of our relationship is full of trust, love and mutual respect. And most beautifully, I finally felt confident enough in my own abilities to agree to that second baby. And I’m currently snuggling my 5-week old daughter as I write this. I have more to thank Visible Child for than will ever be possible.

When I had my son, I toyed around with a few different parenting approaches. I only knew one thing: I will not parent the way I was parented. So basically….I started at zero! When my son was one year old, I somehow found VC. At first I didn’t understand it. I read, and I read. One day it clicked. My relationship with my son (3y.o) is now collaborative, genuine, respectful, hilarious, and wonderful. I enjoy him – much thanks to what I have absorbed here. All that I have learned in this space is truly a gift. I will never have the words or the means to express my gratitude for Robin and her execution of the Visible Child. It has positively impacted my life.

There’s no other word for Robin – she’s a lifesaver. I don’t think I’ll ever be as perfect as I want to be. But thanks to Robin I focus on the overall landscape of our relationship with our kiddos and not on individual situations. I’ve learned that respectful parenting isn’t permissive parenting. She has given me the confidence to be the loving leader my children need. If you can afford her consultations, please do. I would pay her just to talk to me. If not, her website subscription, Facebook group and website provide such rich input in being a better parent.

I cant believe the solution to mealtime upsets with my 2-year-old was as simple as changing my mindset and letting go of my fear that she wasn’t eating enough. As recommended, I stopped making her sit at the table for X minutes, trusted that if she was hungry she would eat, and let go of the power struggle. Sometimes she eats a lot and sometimes she eats a little. However, our mealtimes are PLEASANT again (which means our whole evenings are pleasant again). The change was instantaneous. Much to my surprise, I took her to the pediatrician this week and learned that she has gained 2 lbs this month! I have also noticed that trusting her at mealtime has bled into trusting her more at other times, and she is responding well to that increased trust. This past month has been peaceful, connected, and joyful. She’s calmer in general and I think it’s because she doesn’t feel the need to push against unnecessary limits I was setting (unconsciously) out of fear. With those gone, our lives are more tranquil and there’s more room to just be playful together.

There’s no doubt about it… our lives would be drastically different if not for Robin sharing her perspectives on children. My relationship with my 5 year old is on solid footing due to Robin passing along her knowledge. The new Visible Child membership site is definitely worth joining. It includes member-only content and special access to Robin in video call “office hours”.

Robin is truly one of a kind. I've been a follower of Visible Child for many years and have been lucky enough to work with Robin both professionally and as a parent. I am co-founder of a small CIC working with children under five and their families, and her work is central to our own early childhood ethos and practice, bringing together so clearly and succinctly current research and knowledge within early years. On a personal level, no one reassures me about my children and myself as a parent as Robin does. Her empathy and sensitivity mean that I feel safe enough to fully engage and share during our conversations, and her invitations to challenge myself ensure that I keep moving forwards. Crucially, I am able to do the work that is needed for myself and my family. I honestly don't know where I'd be without Robin – learning from her unique perspective and insight truly has been life-changing.

I am *deeply* grateful to the Visible Child Facebook group for all that I’ve learned, and continue to learn, with every single thing I read. It’s been truly eye-opening and profound for me. My 6 yo takes martial arts, which he loves.   It used to really bug me a lot that he sometimes didn't follow all the directions precisely.  He did it again today, and I started to say something to him, when he was in earshot. But then I paused, and I watched him, and I thought about it, and I thought some more. And then it occurred to me: "Does it really matter? Why do I care about this? Could this be my perfectionist tendencies coming out? What IS he getting from this class? (So many positive things!) What if I just kept my mouth shut and let him continue enjoying the class?"   So that’s what I did. And he had a blast, and I had a blast watching him. So, thank you for teaching and reminding me that sometimes the best thing to do is just to observe, and to say nothing at all.

I was fortunate to meet Robin Einzig on an online platform where it was instantly clear that we were philosophically like-minded and shared similar views of ourselves as adults practicing respectful relationships. As a deep thinker and researcher, her experience and knowledge are invaluable. Robin knows how to ask the right questions that lead parents and professionals to see themselves and children more clearly. She is skilled at working collaboratively with adults and with her hallmark approach challenges us to take a child's perspective thus making them visible. While Robin has trained with leaders in the field of child development, the wisdom of her experiences makes her one of them. Her work is truly admirable and will leave an indelible imprint on humanity.

“I can, without a doubt, say that working with Robin Einzig/Visible Child has enabled me to have a relationship with my children that I wouldn’t have even thought was possible. She guided us in learning about normal child development, focusing on relationship above all, trusting our children, and confidently setting the limits and boundaries that we need for a generally respectful and joyful family life.”