Visible Child

Putting Development First

If there is one thing that distinguishes my work and groups from others that may have overlapping philosophies or values, it is that I am a serious, devoted, and passionate developmentalist, and my work and advice is constantly and squarely grounded in child development–what we know about the path, trajectory, and idiosyncratic nature of children’s Putting Development First

What is a Lens Shift, Anyway?

If you woke up tomorrow and everything around you was purple—the air, the trees, even people—you would not have an option to see and respond to things the way you did before. For me, this is what a “lens shift” or a “frame shift” in parenting is.  It is not just a conscious decision to What is a Lens Shift, Anyway?

Reflections on Toy Taking

Today, a member of my online parenting group asked a question that many people wonder about, namely when and how to intervene or facilitate or “stay out of” toy taking between children.  She cited her understanding of a respectful parenting expert, which seemed to lean in the direction of not intervening and trusting and allowing Reflections on Toy Taking

Questions vs Answers

The other day, somewhere on Facebook (in a conversation entirely unrelated to my work), some person I don’t know issued me a directive:  “Don’t answer my question with a question.” I have to admit, I laughed most of the rest of the day.  First of all, that person clearly has never met any Jews.  And Questions vs Answers

It Depends

There’s this thing that happens. It happens in the parenting groups that I run. It happens in workshops that I teach. It occasionally happens in consultation or coaching sessions. It sounds something like this: “But last time, you said….” “But Robin said that other time…” “That’s not what you said last time!” “I remember that It Depends