mindful parenting

They’ll Be Older Then

Ah, the perennial fears of parenthood. They come for us all. “They need to be ready for kindergarten.”“If we don’t make them do chores, they’ll be entitled and won’t know how to do anything for themselves.”“They need to learn that it’s not okay.”“My 4 year old will never have friends if they keep being mean They’ll Be Older Then

What is a Lens Shift, Anyway?

If you woke up tomorrow and everything around you was purple—the air, the trees, even people—you would not have an option to see and respond to things the way you did before. For me, this is what a “lens shift” or a “frame shift” in parenting is.  It is not just a conscious decision to What is a Lens Shift, Anyway?

Finding the Right Question

We, as human beings, are inseparable from our culture.  The culture in which we are raised, the culture of our ancestry, the culture of our families, the culture of our institutions.  There are many definitions, many meanings. As adults, we can and do make conscious choices to deviate, of course.  For example, perhaps the culture Finding the Right Question

It’s All My Fault. All of it.

We have a new rule in our house these days: Everything is my fault. No matter what. If the conditioner bottle in the shower is empty, it’s my fault. If the egg yolk breaks (she hates that) when it is going into the pan, it’s my fault. If it gets to be 3:00 in the It’s All My Fault. All of it.

Authenticity: The Hardest Truth

My business, Visible Child, has a tag line that means a great deal to me, and is at the heart of the work and writing that I do every day: “As a matter of fact, they DO come with instructions.” As you may have figured out, it is in reference to the omnipresent comment expressed Authenticity: The Hardest Truth