A relatively new member in my Facebook group asks: How do you parent without giving consequences or threatening to give them? I’m at a loss. I want to change my parenting style and I’m failing. My son who’s 6 has been defiant lately and usually when he is I threaten to take away his daily … How do you parent without consequences or threats?
You may not want to hear this. But here goes. Toddlers (and those on either side of them, infants and preschoolers) do not care about being somewhere on time. They don’t care about what time school or day care starts. They don’t care what time you have to be at work. They don’t care what … Toddler Lives in Adult Time
The choices we make. Every day. Modeling graciousness. Prioritizing connection over control. Placing relationship before “teaching.” I thought I’d share an example from this morning. We had a four day weekend at our house–my daughter’s school is on an atypical schedule. So four days of not getting up early (yay.) Today was back to routine–6:15 … The Choices We Make – Everyday Teen Edition
A reader asks: “My five year old still hits or is aggressive to his 3 yo sister often in the day out of frustration what am I doing wrong?! I’m afraid I am getting snappy as I’m finding it hard to understand.” And another reader adds: “I really don’t understand what we’re supposed to do … 31 Things To Do When Children Hit One Another
I struggled a bit over the title of this post. Limit Setting for People Pleasers? Well, that’s a whole lot of us, isn’t it. Not quite right. The Wimp’s Guide to Limit Setting? I mean, name-calling, even in playfulness, is the clickbait way of the internet, after all, right? No, best to leave that word … The Reticent Parent’s Guide to Limit Setting
Today, on one of the facebook groups that I run, a member asked what feels to me like the quintessential limit-setting and respectful discipline question. It was a long and complex question with many parts, especially as it contained examples, which I had specifically requested (it is so much easier to answer discipline questions when … There’s No Trying In Limit Setting
My business, Visible Child, has a tag line that means a great deal to me, and is at the heart of the work and writing that I do every day: “As a matter of fact, they DO come with instructions.” As you may have figured out, it is in reference to the omnipresent comment expressed … Authenticity: The Hardest Truth
I’ve encountered a lot of misunderstandings about offering children choices recently. I’m hoping a rundown might help. Today, focusing on why and when choices are a good idea. 1. Why offer choices? One of the most critical and valuable pieces of advice we can receive in today’s social media-saturated world is “Don’t Read The Comments.” … Choices: Why? When?
As most of you who read this blog know, I’m a stickler for words and definitions. One of the places in which this comes up most frequently is in regard to “consequences.” It’s not that I like being annoying, it’s that I just can’t help myself from commenting on this. Not to skirt responsibility or … Consequences & How We Misuse Them
When I describe my work, I proudly say that my perspective is “Strengths Based.” Recently, some people have asked what that means (Oh. Good point). Every one of us, regardless of the type of work we do, carry biases and values. If someone tells you they have none, run, do not walk, in the opposite … On Being “Strengths Based”