Welcome to the Visible CHILD Blog
Resisting the Erosion of Trust
August 26, 2024
John Holt (1923-1985), an esteemed writer and advocate of homeschooling, unschooling, and
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A Bloodhound with Picture Books
May 29, 2024
I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m a picture book snob from way back. Don’t get
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Shattering Illusions, One Parent at a Time.
December 14, 2023
It’s a heck of a job description, I’ll give you that. Every day, all day, I listen to
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They’ll Be Older Then
September 8, 2023
Ah, the perennial fears of parenthood. They come for us all. “They need to be ready for
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Methuselah Lived 900 Years
April 26, 2023
Today, a little departure from my regular Visible Child blog fare: a “blast from the
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CPS? PSC? C&PS? VC?
February 17, 2023
Oh, the acronyms! It’s time for us to talk a bit about the phenomenal tool known as
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Visible Child Foundations 1: The What
April 9, 2021
Parenting groups and coaches are a dime a dozen these days. There’s even a plethora of
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Paving the Way to Take Risks
April 7, 2021
Most of us have been in a kitschy little gift shop that had some clever little sign or button or
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Peeing. It’s a Control Thing.
April 4, 2021
Okay, folks. I don’t know if it’s the planets or the moon or something about the water
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Hitting: It Depends
January 6, 2020
“So, when my child hits, I should block and say “I won’t let you hit?”
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Clarifications & Explications – Part 1
January 4, 2020
There are a number of terms and expressions that are frequently used in Visible Child circles that I
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Get Curious: The Heart of Observation
January 1, 2020
It’s the first day of a new year and a new decade (though, being who I am, I have some issues
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Down the Rabbit Hole: A Mindfulness Exercise
December 16, 2019
Yesterday, in one of my groups, I mentioned my “Down the Rabbit Hole” exercise that I do
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They Don’t Listen!
November 21, 2019
We’ve all said it. We’ve all heard it (oh, the irony!) We’ve all
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Putting Development First
August 18, 2019
If there is one thing that distinguishes my work and groups from others that may have overlapping
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“They Need To Know It’s Wrong!”
July 30, 2019
“But if I don’t punish them or give them some sort of consequence or respond in some
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A Persistent Myth: Responding to Distress
June 29, 2019
One of the most frequent misunderstandings of the Visible Child approach is that some people somehow
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What is a Lens Shift, Anyway?
June 9, 2019
If you woke up tomorrow and everything around you was purple—the air, the trees, even people—you
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Reflections on Toy Taking
March 17, 2019
Today, a member of my online parenting group asked a question that many people wonder about, namely
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The Four Not So Noble Truths of Mindful Parenting
September 2, 2018
Not to get all Buddhist on you (I’m not even Buddhist, I’m not an expert, I don’t
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Questions vs Answers
July 1, 2018
The other day, somewhere on Facebook (in a conversation entirely unrelated to my work), some person
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It Depends
May 6, 2018
There’s this thing that happens. It happens in the parenting groups that I run. It happens in
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How do you parent without consequences or threats?
March 22, 2018
A relatively new member in my Facebook group asks: How do you parent without giving consequences or
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Swimming Upstream: Choosing Trust over Fear
December 30, 2017
It is always so telling when I have a hard time constructing a blog post. It’s not as simple
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“If I Could Just Make Them Understand!”
October 16, 2017
There’s this thing that happens. It has to do with setting limits. And understanding. Here
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Modeling Graciousness, Part II: The Long Run
September 10, 2017
It’s 6:45 a.m., and I’m crying like a baby, you guys. Yesterday was a long day.  In
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On Parenting without Dogma
September 7, 2017
…or the alternative name for this post, if you prefer: “Why I Suck At Marketing.”
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Independent Play: The Holy Grail?
June 29, 2017
Today, I found myself responding to a post on my facebook group about independent play.  I wrote
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Finding the Right Question
April 24, 2017
We, as human beings, are inseparable from our culture. The culture in which we are raised, the
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Shame: A Roadblock to Respectful Parenting
February 9, 2017
Most prominent among the questions parents ask is a certain “brand” or theme that looks
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Reveling in the Company of Children
November 11, 2016
Do something for me today. For my heart. It’s been a tough week. If I’ve ever done
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Toddler Lives in Adult Time
August 29, 2016
You may not want to hear this. But here goes. Toddlers (and those on either side of them, infants
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The Choices We Make – Everyday Teen Edition
May 4, 2016
The choices we make. Every day. Modeling graciousness. Prioritizing connection over control. Placing
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The Danger of Wanting The Answer
April 25, 2016
I get it. You want to know what to do. Your child is screaming. Or throwing food. Or
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31 Things To Do When Children Hit One Another
April 4, 2016
A reader asks: “My five year old still hits or is aggressive to his 3 yo sister often in the
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Art & Science: Thoughts about RIE®
February 29, 2016
Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land not so far away–in a time before banishment–I
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The Words We Use About Our Children: Valence
January 7, 2016
I am a strong believer in words. Words have power. Immense power. Words reveal. They reveal
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Logical Consequences
November 21, 2015
This week, I had the great privilege of speaking about Respectful Parenting and Discipline to a
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The Reticent Parent’s Guide to Limit Setting
October 29, 2015
I struggled a bit over the title of this post. Limit Setting for People Pleasers? Well,
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On Independent Play and the Origins of “I’M BORED”
October 15, 2015
This morning, I’m musing (I do that), mostly as a result of a juxtaposition between two posts
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There’s No Trying In Limit Setting
October 2, 2015
Today, on one of the facebook groups that I run, a member asked what feels to me like the
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Toilet Training in One Simple Step
September 20, 2015
Every day. I hear it–and read it. Every day. Sticker charts. Potty chairs that play
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Parenting The Child You Have
September 17, 2015
We have to talk. This parenting thing, it’s a tough job. Don’t we know it. Some
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6 Little Secrets of a Sleeping Baby
September 6, 2015
Alice Callahan, who writes the “Science of Mom” blog, digs through the research to
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Model Graciousness
September 2, 2015
There’s a parenting question that comes up perhaps more frequently than any other. We seem to
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My Daughter is a Garden
August 31, 2015
Guest post by Julie of Amplify Autism My daughter skips along through the sand, little legs moving
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The Secrets We Keep: What Parents Don’t Tell Other Parents
August 15, 2015
Parenting is hard enough. We don’t need to be keeping secrets from one another. But we do.
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It’s All My Fault. All of it.
July 28, 2015
We have a new rule in our house these days: Everything is my fault. No matter what. If the
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Authenticity: The Hardest Truth
July 26, 2015
My business, Visible Child, has a tag line that means a great deal to me, and is at the heart of the
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Limit Setting: Grabbing
July 20, 2015
In a recent thread on one of my facebook groups a parent asked about limit setting, and the model
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Balancing the Scales
July 20, 2015
I don’t usually do this. This is not a political blog. It’s a child development and
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Choices: Why? When?
July 4, 2015
I’ve encountered a lot of misunderstandings about offering children choices recently.
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The Problem With Parenting Books
July 2, 2015
Oh, and parenting websites. Those too. If you’ve dug around my blog at all, you’ve
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Consequences & How We Misuse Them
June 22, 2015
As most of you who read this blog know, I’m a stickler for words and definitions. One of the
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Snakes on a Plane: Kids Version
June 8, 2015
Question:Â Who has these kids? Answer:Â No one. Much more like this, probably. Am I right?
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Experiments in Parenting: What If?
June 3, 2015
I want you to do me a favor. I want you to go on a little trip with me–a “what if”
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Ah, Mindfulness.
April 21, 2015
Ah, Mindfulness. Mindfulness. Mindfulness. Mindfulness. Yes, please. With a side order of
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Music Soothes the Savage Breast: On Listening
April 6, 2015
There’s a lot of talk in positive parenting circles–and in general–about the
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All My Life’s a Circle: Respect Across the Lifespan
March 28, 2015
“We are once an adult, and twice a child.” I’ve been away. As ever, I have a lot
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Reflections from a Child Development Geek
March 16, 2015
Bet you didn’t know such a thing existed. Yeah. It does. Welcome to my world. Remember
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Car Seat Madness
March 15, 2015
In my work with parents of toddlers, I would rank car seats as one of the most complicated and
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On Being “Strengths Based”
March 6, 2015
When I describe my work, I proudly say that my perspective is “Strengths Based.”Â
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You Reap What You Sow (3 of 3) : Stimulation
March 3, 2015
Are we doing enough? Are we doing the right things? Are we harming our children? Oh, the
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You Reap What You Sow (2 of 3) – Plant Well
March 2, 2015
So, in last week’s post (Part 1 of 3) when I wrote that you’d hear back from me with
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You Reap What You Sow: Part 1 of 3
February 25, 2015
There is a perplexing theme that I’ve been noticing a lot these days in my work with parents
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101 Dead Mothers and Other Tales for Children
February 12, 2015
Bambi. The Land Before Time. Finding Nemo. Frozen. Tarzan. The Lion King. The Little
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“Say You’re Sorry!”
January 21, 2015
Today, this article came across my facebook newsfeed, all about how to teach our children to
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I’m All About The Kids
January 9, 2015
As a critical consumer, one of the things I want to know most about it bias…because it’s
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“You’re Not Sugar, You Won’t Melt.”
January 1, 2015
It’s the first day of a new year. Where I live, the sky is clear and blue, temperatures in
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The Best In “Interactive Platforms”
December 31, 2014
Today, a story came out on National Public Radio about teaching children words via a new Sesame
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Right Conclusion. Wrong Questions.
December 30, 2014
This article in the Washington Post, has been popping up in my facebook newsfeed a lot these days,
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The Myth of Sharing
December 19, 2014
Ah. Sharing. One of the most popular and most debated issues facing parents of toddlers and
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Oh, Toddlerhood, Why Don’t We See You Coming?
December 1, 2014
….or Why the Word “Proactive” is central in the title of my work with children and
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Mindful and Proactive Parenting: Infancy
November 14, 2014
Today, after many requests, we founded a new facebook discussion group. After a lot of thought, I
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Why Punishments Don’t Work
October 6, 2014
You’ve tried it all. Taking away toys. Taking away fun stuff to do.  Canceling playdates
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A Slice of RIE – “Sportscasting”
March 9, 2014
Whether or not you feel the the infant/toddler parenting philosophy known as RIE (Resources for
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“I Don’t Like You”
March 3, 2014
What fascinating synchronicity. Just this morning, this “letter to the expert” about
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"You’re Not My Friend"
October 2, 2010
Boy, bullying is sure in the news. Funny how people pay attention (at least for a minute, our
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Please Adjust Your Headrests
June 30, 2009
I’m telling you, this parenting thing can give you whiplash sometimes, can’t it? This
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Introduction
June 30, 2009
We’re glad you’re here! If you’ve visited a lot of blogs, you know some of them
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