Welcome to the Visible CHILD Blog

John Holt (1923-1985), an esteemed writer and advocate of homeschooling, unschooling, and

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m a picture book snob from way back. Don’t get

It’s a heck of a job description, I’ll give you that. Every day, all day, I listen to

Ah, the perennial fears of parenthood. They come for us all. “They need to be ready for

Today, a little departure from my regular Visible Child blog fare: a “blast from the

Oh, the acronyms! It’s time for us to talk a bit about the phenomenal tool known as

Parenting groups and coaches are a dime a dozen these days. There’s even a plethora of

Most of us have been in a kitschy little gift shop that had some clever little sign or button or

Okay, folks. I don’t know if it’s the planets or the moon or something about the water

“So, when my child hits, I should block and say “I won’t let you hit?”

There are a number of terms and expressions that are frequently used in Visible Child circles that I

It’s the first day of a new year and a new decade (though, being who I am, I have some issues

Yesterday, in one of my groups, I mentioned my “Down the Rabbit Hole” exercise that I do

We’ve all said it.  We’ve all heard it (oh, the irony!)  We’ve all

If there is one thing that distinguishes my work and groups from others that may have overlapping

“But if I don’t punish them or give them some sort of consequence or respond in some

One of the most frequent misunderstandings of the Visible Child approach is that some people somehow

If you woke up tomorrow and everything around you was purple—the air, the trees, even people—you

Today, a member of my online parenting group asked a question that many people wonder about, namely

Not to get all Buddhist on you (I’m not even Buddhist, I’m not an expert, I don’t

The other day, somewhere on Facebook (in a conversation entirely unrelated to my work), some person

There’s this thing that happens. It happens in the parenting groups that I run. It happens in

A relatively new member in my Facebook group asks: How do you parent without giving consequences or

It is always so telling when I have a hard time constructing a blog post.  It’s not as simple

There’s this thing that happens.  It has to do with setting limits.  And understanding. Here

It’s 6:45 a.m., and I’m crying like a baby, you guys. Yesterday was a long day.   In

…or the alternative name for this post, if you prefer: “Why I Suck At Marketing.”

Today, I found myself responding to a post on my facebook group about independent play.   I wrote

We, as human beings, are inseparable from our culture.  The culture in which we are raised, the

Most prominent among the questions parents ask is a certain “brand” or theme that looks

This. All over the place. Reblogging perfection.

Do something for me today. For my heart. It’s been a tough week. If I’ve ever done

You may not want to hear this. But here goes. Toddlers (and those on either side of them, infants

The choices we make. Every day. Modeling graciousness. Prioritizing connection over control. Placing

I get it.  You want to know what to do.  Your child is screaming.  Or throwing food.  Or

A reader asks: “My five year old still hits or is aggressive to his 3 yo sister often in the

Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land not so far away–in a time before banishment–I

I am a strong believer in words.  Words have power.  Immense power.  Words reveal.  They reveal

This week, I had the great privilege of speaking about Respectful Parenting and Discipline to a

I struggled a bit over the title of this post. Limit Setting for People Pleasers?  Well,

This morning, I’m musing (I do that), mostly as a result of a juxtaposition between two posts

Today, on one of the facebook groups that I run, a member asked what feels to me like the

Every day.  I hear it–and read it.  Every day. Sticker charts.  Potty chairs that play

We have to talk. This parenting thing, it’s a tough job.  Don’t we know it. Some

Alice Callahan, who writes the “Science of Mom” blog, digs through the research to

There’s a parenting question that comes up perhaps more frequently than any other. We seem to

Guest post by Julie of Amplify Autism My daughter skips along through the sand, little legs moving

Parenting is hard enough.  We don’t need to be keeping secrets from one another.  But we do.

We have a new rule in our house these days: Everything is my fault. No matter what. If the

My business, Visible Child, has a tag line that means a great deal to me, and is at the heart of the

In a recent thread on one of my facebook groups a parent asked about limit setting, and the model

I don’t usually do this.  This is not a political blog.  It’s a child development and

I’ve encountered a lot of misunderstandings about offering children choices recently.

Oh, and parenting websites.  Those too. If you’ve dug around my blog at all, you’ve

As most of you who read this blog know, I’m a stickler for words and definitions.  One of the

Question:  Who has these kids? Answer:  No one.   Much more like this, probably. Am I right?

I want you to do me a favor. I want you to go on a little trip with me–a “what if”

Ah, Mindfulness. Mindfulness.  Mindfulness.  Mindfulness. Yes, please. With a side order of

There’s a lot of talk in positive parenting circles–and in general–about the

“We are once an adult, and twice a child.” I’ve been away. As ever, I have a lot

Bet you didn’t know such a thing existed.  Yeah.  It does.  Welcome to my world. Remember

In my work with parents of toddlers, I would rank car seats as one of the most complicated and

When I describe my work, I proudly say that my perspective is “Strengths Based.” 

Are we doing enough?  Are we doing the right things?  Are we harming our children?  Oh, the

So, in last week’s post (Part 1 of 3) when I wrote that you’d hear back from me with

There is a perplexing theme that I’ve been noticing a lot these days in my work with parents

Bambi.  The Land Before Time.  Finding Nemo.  Frozen.  Tarzan.  The Lion King.  The Little

Today, this article came across my facebook newsfeed, all about how to teach our children to

As a critical consumer, one of the things I want to know most about it bias…because it’s

It’s the first day of a new year.  Where I live, the sky is clear and blue, temperatures in

Today, a story came out on National Public Radio about teaching children words via a new Sesame

This article in the Washington Post, has been popping up in my facebook newsfeed a lot these days,

Ah.  Sharing. One of the most popular and most debated issues facing parents of toddlers and

….or Why the Word “Proactive” is central in the title of my work with children and

Today, after many requests, we founded a new facebook discussion group.  After a lot of thought, I

You’ve tried it all. Taking away toys.  Taking away fun stuff to do.   Canceling playdates

Whether or not you feel the the infant/toddler parenting philosophy known as RIE (Resources for

What fascinating synchronicity. Just this morning, this “letter to the expert” about

Boy, bullying is sure in the news.  Funny how people pay attention (at least for a minute, our

I’m telling you, this parenting thing can give you whiplash sometimes, can’t it? This

We’re glad you’re here! If you’ve visited a lot of blogs, you know some of them